Harry Potter and the sorcorer zach, mo and connor stone.

I drink Brass Monkey and I rock well.

12:51 is the time my voice
Found the words I sought...
Is it this stage I want?

I hope you know this will go
down on your permanent record.

Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows!!!!

Ron is hot, he is one spicy ginger

Hey bloggin!

I guess i have kind of blown at the whole blogging buisness, but that doesnt mean i cant still virtually express my feelings (talk to myself) now does it?!
So lets do this.
Let me just shed a little light on the past beautiesthat are happening in my new lifey in the great salt lake. 1- this relationship i was determined to develope with my new dog and i is a complete shame. My mom told me she was just like me, but i think she is partially mentally retarted, so i am not sure what she is trying to say. insulting perhaps?
2- accepting that the only summer glow that i am getting these next 7 months will probably be from florscent lighting, or mist on tans. I do miss that brazilian sun, thats for sure.
3- My new job at starbucks is such a dream. I now know how to make all those complicated drinks all the hip people drink. And i dare say that i might just be a human frappicino prodegy.
4- My love is coming to find me.

12: 48

Its 12: 48 in the morning right now, and my mind is producing an unruley amount of thoughts on me (and not to mention the amount of sleep i havent gotten is kind of putting me into an awake coma. And i cant stop thinking of dolfins in life jackets when this happens). I am not sure where i am going with this, but i am letting it do the do. (none of this will probably make sense because i am probably not really awake)
First question to myself; how do i fix whats going on. All of it, because strangely enough i think i welcome the danger of friendship and heartbreak.
I love to see all your smiles , and it seems to me, that location has absolutely nothing to do with my ability to see them or not. Whether you are here in my city, close to me, important to me, or in another country. I find myself loosing those smiles either way.
The fact that you can be so close to me, but i cant see you anymore, is just as painful as being 3000 miles apart from me.
I miss you both. close or far.
I am here now, and i can not change that. And it would seem that my presence here is no different then my absence. I don't feel any different. I still cant have those i want. And i still miss those i love.
i dont know what i am saying. But i am seriously mixed.
This is so much harder than i thought. I am kind of terrified of what is happening. But i did it once and i know i can do it again.
Love is a magic that we all have in us, thankfully. But where does it take us.
where will it take me? What will i do for it?
i certainly can not give up, But it does sand down a lot of my willing components. It is all around me, but my hands just can not catch it. It feels like it will always be distant. In my head and also in the flesh.
I wonder what it will be to see you again, when i do.
Will my love surround me or hide behind my tail. Who can really say, is what i say.
I guess i just want to feel it, for reals, with no strings attached. No distance. No complications. Just love. up down and around me. It will come.
so onward to my own spanish galleon inside of me. To the death! Just me an me forever!

woops

So i decided to give a read around of my last blog, and i am now realizing how many mistakes and unfinished things i posting. And i guess it turns out that i think i am writing everything i am thinking but i obviously am not. So i am sorry about that, so feel free to give things another read because its all punctuation and perfection from here on out!

goodbye home

alright, so i know it looks like i have given up on my bloggin affair, but i assure you i havent, i am just really lazy and the 6th harry potter movie is always on HBO, soooo...... that is that, but i am back!


this would be me being taken by force from my friends in class, to play lady gaga, in a music video we had to do in english, of american singers. And being that i had blonde hair and blue eyes they were convinced i looked exactly like her. i do not agree. But either way it was kind of hilarious and the garbage man kept creepin and loving every second of us ladies.










Trip to pipa,



pipa is like the vencice beach of the northeast of brazil, if you are nice to a vender he will just give you free stuff because he likes your universal energy, or at least thats what he said to me.

We stayed in my friend julias clubhouse type thing, that was such a dream, it was hidden within a forest of her dads house, who by the way sports an unbearably cool dragon tatoo.. And since none of us had any money or food we just ate oatmeal and played uno the whole time, so good.


this would be me, 10 seconds after getting a gadge. It was traumatic and i almost whimped out , but it was completely liberating, although i did not like the fact that igor syked me out, and was like "here i just want to see it"... and then pull a fast one and just pushed through my earlobe. owww

this is my favorite beach, pirangy, this is the view in the morning, outside of igors balcony. So perfect

mall mustache party! the mall security were all over us, thinking we were really trying to pull something sneaky. And in all honesty i did accidentally take a sole marshmallow thinking they were free. They werent. oops

This would be my hena tatoo, that i got on the beach. Now i only got it because one of my friends who is gay (represent!) was loving the guy tatooing so he told me he would pay for it if i did it. unfortunately the minute the hena guy started tatooing, he only talked about how much he loved his woman girlfriend. It was a let down for rafael for sure. But i feel like i benefited fully from this, because wierdly enough i really loved it, and everytime i would pass by a mirror i would kind of check myself, i felt like such a rough up.

these would be the clay versions romantic pictures of igor and i that he made out of the clay i got him for christmas

why am i like 50 pounds overweight you wonder. well your guess is as good as mine, when i first saw them i wasnt sure if i should be happy and cutesied out or slap igor for making me look like is unfortunate chubby girlfriend. He confessed that he did everything but the clay wasnt having it. And to rap it up he ended by saying. "well most of the world likes curvy girls anyway" ahem WHAT!

This is our sacred beach, there is absolutely no one on this beach everyday all day, so all my brazilians and i clamed it as our own!

now this photo might just look like a good time, but when i did it, igor didnt really realize i was doing it, so this photo almost didnt exist due to the fact when igor realized what i was doing he crapped his pants and let out a whimpering shreak and yelled at me to get away from the edge.

this would be the last time i saw my bestie alyssa, and we figured it would only be right to capture our classic peace sign face. For those of you that dont know what that is, it is the face you do, that will literally get you out of anything. Example. you just killed someones cat, flash the peace sign and mumble. oohhaahhh sorrry i just didnt see it coming. opps i uh, feel really bad.
done, and you can leave with a clean conscience.

this one of my favorite exchange students, gavin, from michigan and i indulging in a rapist look.


igor's brother drew this of our crew

so the airport.... so heartbreaking. I was a hot dirty mess, i was emotional destroyed, and igor was sobbing, so terrible! if you look closely at his eyes in every picture hes eyes are red and teary... shear horror!

our last kiss! i will miss my favorite tall legs, curly hair and adventurous heart more than anything in the world.

my first and favorite host fam. they are so fabulous.

my host dad, totally started crying, and i didnt even expect it, but unfortunatly when he crys he gets this look on his face like he just got hit by a train.

my brazilian loves, the other side of my heart <3>
some of the exchange students!

future?

so i am sitting here, i have been back for exactly a week, and in all the wierdness and getting used to things, i realized. i am graduated. crap. so now what? the only thing that comes to mind when i think of future is me getting a chaco tan, while being a river rafting guide. But you can not go to college for that. So now the question is, what do i do? what am i good at? i have always wanted be a fashion designer, but they make about as much as the little mexican man gorge who works for my dad. Which is unfortunatly, not to much. So then i thought. hmmm fashion journalism? aha! could be, except i know nothing about it and havent really done any doing of it. So now i am at a conclusion.... any ideas? please let me know !

and now im back from outerspace!

so i have kind of been in hiding for like a week but i am offically back and american! so lets hang out!